My Messy Life
Apparently I'm not the only one living a messy life because there are quite a few other blogs out there with similar titles. So to start on a positive note, I guess I'm not alone! I'll cheers my glass of wine to that! The term "messy life" came up this past summer while attending church at Calvary Lutheran and boy could it not have come up at a better time. You see, mid June my life got real messy...you could even say I hit rock bottom...again...but deeper this time.
I currently have about 9 sessions to edit, there are clean clothes still sitting in the dryer from last night and I'm pretty sure there is some sort of sticky mess on the floor in the kitchen, but a lesson I learned when I first had kiddos is that I truly need to take care of me before I take care of anyone and anything else. So this is my therapy. Writing to an audience that doesn't even exist. Writing to myself in what, the 3rd person, writing just to write because it will be my reminder, it will be my therapy and it will allow me to take care of me.
Sometimes we think we hit rock bottom. Like the time when you are so consumed by debt that all you see are $ $ $ floating over your head while you sleep. It's that deep breath in that you hold while you swipe your card at the gas station because all you need is a bottle of Coke. That stare at the checking account that for some reason never stays over a few hundred dollars for very long. And then one day you loose your shit. You say, "I can't take it any more!!!!" "I've hit rock bottom and SOMETHING needs to change!!!" And when you are on bended knee and have no where else to go, you turn to prayer...at least I did.
He answered by the way. On February 15th that next Sunday as we were sitting in church, wondering if I'd gain my sanity back, wondering if we were really going to actually build a house some day, wondering if my hubby was going to start his own business, up on the screen popped a bearded balding man named Dave Ramsey advertising Financial Peace University. School was the last place I wanted to go back to, but this looked different, worth looking into. So I did, and then we did, and there I sat one Wednesday night holding my pen to my checkbook wondering why I was paying $90 to some program that was supposed to get me out of debt, not go in more debt. But I put the pen to the check and that's when our lives began to change. That's when I gave a little push off the rocks that were at the bottom of my ocean. The only way to go was up...or so I thought.
I currently have about 9 sessions to edit, there are clean clothes still sitting in the dryer from last night and I'm pretty sure there is some sort of sticky mess on the floor in the kitchen, but a lesson I learned when I first had kiddos is that I truly need to take care of me before I take care of anyone and anything else. So this is my therapy. Writing to an audience that doesn't even exist. Writing to myself in what, the 3rd person, writing just to write because it will be my reminder, it will be my therapy and it will allow me to take care of me.
Sometimes we think we hit rock bottom. Like the time when you are so consumed by debt that all you see are $ $ $ floating over your head while you sleep. It's that deep breath in that you hold while you swipe your card at the gas station because all you need is a bottle of Coke. That stare at the checking account that for some reason never stays over a few hundred dollars for very long. And then one day you loose your shit. You say, "I can't take it any more!!!!" "I've hit rock bottom and SOMETHING needs to change!!!" And when you are on bended knee and have no where else to go, you turn to prayer...at least I did.
He answered by the way. On February 15th that next Sunday as we were sitting in church, wondering if I'd gain my sanity back, wondering if we were really going to actually build a house some day, wondering if my hubby was going to start his own business, up on the screen popped a bearded balding man named Dave Ramsey advertising Financial Peace University. School was the last place I wanted to go back to, but this looked different, worth looking into. So I did, and then we did, and there I sat one Wednesday night holding my pen to my checkbook wondering why I was paying $90 to some program that was supposed to get me out of debt, not go in more debt. But I put the pen to the check and that's when our lives began to change. That's when I gave a little push off the rocks that were at the bottom of my ocean. The only way to go was up...or so I thought.
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